Mindful therapy: Finding a “dignified” seat
In many practices such as mindfulness, meditation, and yoga, significant attention is often paid to one’s posture.
Posture set up the channel through which much of the practice is experienced (i.e. open and present; tense or sluggish), but to an even larger extent, it is the embodied element of the practice itself. Posture is where we physically learn to hold ourselves with greater patience, confidence, openness, and more.
In his book Wherever You Go, There You Are, mindfulness teacher Jon Kabat-Zinn offers: “You might say the posture itself is the meditation.”
We know through research that physical posture has a bi-directional relationship with emotions, behavior, and cognitive state. An upright posture can boost feelings of pride, and even effective (non-impulsive) risk-taking behaviors. [1] On the other hand, slumped and constrictive body postures can trigger and reinforce negative thoughts and mood. [2]
In a practice like mindfulness, finding and maintaining a nuanced posture can feel a bit hard or even challenging to get “right” sometimes. Many postures or asanas invite students to embody duality (i.e. finding both “strength and softness,” or a posture that is “relaxed yet alert.”) Yet we might experience a bit of struggle when the act of forcing ourselves more upright actually produces more tension, or we feel at odds with our current urge to simply collapse. The very act of attempting — of noticing and forgetting, tweaking and adjusting, moving a bit to one side of the spectrum and then back again — is exactly where embodied learning happens. Change and rewiring is happening in the process of getting it wrong and trying again.
This is the art of deliberate practice, and such new wiring helps us to later do things like be able to notice and adjust our posture in real-time — be it in a difficult conversation with a partner, in front of colleagues or public speaking, or even alone with ourselves. It can also help us learn to do things like hold complex emotions like grief and joy at the same time, boundaries that are both firm yet flexible, or executive presence that is confident and authentic.
But Jon Kabat-Zinn also often prompts his students to find a posture that specifically embodies dignity.
And there is something unique about this ask in that not only does it capture something naturally nuanced, but it is also a posture that mirrors our more subjective self-concept, as well as has something more easy and intuitive about it.
“When I use the word “dignity” in teaching situations, as in “Sit in a way that embodies dignity,” everybody immediately adjusts their posture to sit up straighter. But they don’t stiffen. Faces relax, shoulders drop, head, neck, and back come into easy alignment. ... Everybody seems to instantly know that inner feeling of dignity and how to embody it.”
Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are
If you give it a try, do you also experience something instinctual? As though the posture is moving you from somewhere within, rather from the head down.
It can demonstrate something quite profound — that no matter who we are or what we do, each of us possess an inherent source of dignity, however buried it may get at times.
We work with many clients who, due to various wounds or influences over the course of their lives, frequently question their sense of inherent worth, are driven by a belief that they must earn it, or are quick to abandon it in the face of fear. These ingrained beliefs can sometimes be arduous to change, but at the end of the day, they are layers that have been conditioned. When we go deep enough below the surface to where the water is more still, the answer is almost always the same: I am ok. I know I am worthy.
Jon Kabat-Zinn is also known particularly for his work with chronic pain and illness. This means helping people who experience the type of pain or discomfort they may never be able to change, and many of whom may not even be able to physically sit in a traditional upright position. Yet he continues to ask, regardless of the circumstances: Can you still do it with dignity?
Take some time to notice your posture. Are you moving through parts of your day or various relationships in a collapsed, reserved, or fearful state? Or perhaps one that is hurried, defensive, or puffed up?
What would be different you started from dignity?
We hope you are able to find a dignified seat, and are reminded to return to it often.
Further reading:
Wherever You Go, There You Are, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
5-Minute Guided Meditation with Jon Kabat-Zinn (MasterClass)
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