COUPLES THERAPY IN PASADENA
Let me help you reconnect.
Exhausted from doing the same song and dance, over and over?
By now you’re probably all too familiar with your the pattern you and your partner tend to fall into - over and over again. One attempts to communicate a need, but the other other feels criticized and closes up. Or, hard as it might be to believe, you still find yourselves fighting about the same issue you have been since you practically met. Conflict becomes an escalating cycle of attacking, defensiveness, and shutting down, that is, if both of you aren’t unconsciously colluding to avoid conflict at all.
How did you get so far from one another, or the feeling of closeness, connection, and positivity you had earlier on?
The truth is, fighting about the dishes is almost never just about the dishes, sexual problems are almost never just about sex, and infidelity is almost never just about an affair. It’s about acknowledging something deeper. But standing armor to armor makes it really hard to touch.
You want a relationship in which:
You feel like you’re on the same team, rather than alone in the same room
Hard conversations bring you closer, rather than farther away
You’re able to fully love and accept one another, blemishes and all
Together you are able to create a whole that’s greater than the sum of its parts
Let me help
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
- Mignon McLaughlin
Most couples wait an average of six years being unhappy before seeking help, allowing more and more distance, distrust, and resentment to build.
But your relationship is not necessarily doomed and you haven’t done anything “wrong.” The simple truth is that people and relationships evolve over time, and successful long-term relationships take certain skills we may not all have been given, or could all use a little help polishing. Staying together, growing together, and deepening your connection with the same person is a challenge, but it’s also what makes it so rich.
Together in therapy we’ll create a space outside the stress of work, the kids, and the car payments, where you can finally slow down, understand, and shift the cycle you’re stuck in, as well as rebuild your sense of friendship, intimacy and connection.
I help couples with…
Conflict & communication
Conflict is not a dirty word. Learn how to work with, rather than against, your differences
Sex & intimacy
Take the charge out of conversations about sex, and put the spark back into your relationship
Premarital counseling
We offer a secular approach to navigating issues that come up before getting married
Trust & infidelity
Affair recovery can be highly emotional. Rebuild trust + redefine your future together
Parenting & life transitions
Learn positive parenting skills, and let family bring you closer together, not farther away
Divorce & co-parenting
Get support throughout the stages of separation, including help with a blended family
Learn More
It’s ok to get help.
faqs
Common questions about couples therapy
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While the structure of therapy may vary from couple to couple as needed, most engagements will typically begin with the following:
Session 1 (75 minutes)
Joint assessment session + written intake questionnairesSession 2 (50 minutes each)
One-on-one sessions with each partner individuallySession 3 (75 minutes)
Feedback and treatment planningFrom there, together we will determine the best cadence for ongoing sessions (e.g. weekly or bi-weekly, 50 or 75-minute, etc.)
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My approach follows a No Secrets Policy, meaning in service of the efficacy of therapy, full honesty and transparency is required, and neither partner may disclose a secret to me that they do not disclose to their partner.
This includes a willingness to disclose and end any affairs in order for therapy to proceed.
I understand it can be scary to bring some of these issues up, especially when your relationship already feels uncertain. But trust and a shared reality are critical to a healthy relationship and the method in which I work, and I would be happy to help you navigate processing and proceeding together.
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Individual therapy for both partners can be a really impactful way of increasing the effectiveness of couples therapy. Additionally, in some cases individual therapy may be recommended before starting couples therapy.
I would be happy to discuss the best strategy for your unique situation.
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When doing remote couples therapy, both parties must be based in California. Additionally, couples therapy works best both partners are in the same room.
I understand that from time to time work travel and other commitments may require that you dial into a session separately, but I ask that these be the exception, rather than the norm.
We strive to be…
LGBTQI+ affirming
Trauma-informed
Sex positive
Culturally sensitive
Neurodiversity affirming
Ready to get started?